人说，心如刀割

Devote more attention to my study now. And yea indeed, like what my friends said, I am just being dramatic because I feel lonely.

My mom once told me, don't be too sensitive, believe in good things then it will attract the good things to you. I objected her point of view. I told her, it's true of what you said, but I view it from a different way.

You can't deny everyday things happen, good things, bad things, everything. I have no doubt, in a way or two, it has been attracted or so called "karma" effect. But are you going to face it or simply just dwell in the understanding of believe in good things and it will come eventually?

I pray for a calm mind, for a strong heart, and haha... it ain't done without trial, without obstacles, without those hardships, a strong heart ain't being able to develop. I told my mom, I embrace it, good and bad, I believe it all happened for a reason. I may sound like I've surrendered myself, but I believe I'm still fighting, but in a different way now.

I always question myself, why, in comparison with others, to those who are older, richer, taller, more handsome, or any criteria. Try to keep up, believe if I become them, I'll be fine, I'll be enough, I'll be worthy. I was wrong. I am always enough, I am always who I am, despite what they think of me. No doubt we always need to improve ourselves, but it is wrong to always look down on one or sell short of yourself.

I am tired yet delighted to obtain this piece of understanding. There's still a long way to go. I am coming home soon. Ma, ba, I miss you guys so much. After what I've been through, the more I understand, what it meant to have a simple life with a simple family and simply the best thing in life.

But we'll never get enough. Like how I still feel to try more, make more mistakes and get myself hurt and taste it all over and over again. I have yet to settle down. But I appreciate the knowledge of it.

Thanks for passing by, passengers.

So be it

I have listened to this song for three consecutive days now.  Continuously. 

After the person dropped by and apologized, and even asked for second chance to revive our relationship, I have received the closure which I once thought I'd never have one. The final pieces had returned and once again, I return too, to where I was, but with a touch of understanding what it feels like. 

I was happy, and I was unhappy, and it was worthy. 

It has nothing much to do with this song, but the lyrics, it hits me.  

"People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere... and though the cut has long gone, the pain still lingers. 

What's worse? New wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should have healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been and what we've over come. They teach us the lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's why we like to think but that's not the way it is, isn't it? Some things we just have to learn over and over, over and over again."

It was all meant to be, and it did happen. 

And so it is. 

祗要热烈，都好过温存；

几经冷漠，也不屑容忍；

铭心刻骨，就要一意孤行；

越是憧憬，越要风雨兼程。

愈想證明，就愈不肯定，

可能完美和完整不是一回事情。