人说，心如刀割

Devote more attention to my study now. And yea indeed, like what my friends said, I am just being dramatic because I feel lonely.

My mom once told me, don't be too sensitive, believe in good things then it will attract the good things to you. I objected her point of view. I told her, it's true of what you said, but I view it from a different way.

You can't deny everyday things happen, good things, bad things, everything. I have no doubt, in a way or two, it has been attracted or so called "karma" effect. But are you going to face it or simply just dwell in the understanding of believe in good things and it will come eventually?

I pray for a calm mind, for a strong heart, and haha... it ain't done without trial, without obstacles, without those hardships, a strong heart ain't being able to develop. I told my mom, I embrace it, good and bad, I believe it all happened for a reason. I may sound like I've surrendered myself, but I believe I'm still fighting, but in a different way now.

I always question myself, why, in comparison with others, to those who are older, richer, taller, more handsome, or any criteria. Try to keep up, believe if I become them, I'll be fine, I'll be enough, I'll be worthy. I was wrong. I am always enough, I am always who I am, despite what they think of me. No doubt we always need to improve ourselves, but it is wrong to always look down on one or sell short of yourself.

I am tired yet delighted to obtain this piece of understanding. There's still a long way to go. I am coming home soon. Ma, ba, I miss you guys so much. After what I've been through, the more I understand, what it meant to have a simple life with a simple family and simply the best thing in life.

But we'll never get enough. Like how I still feel to try more, make more mistakes and get myself hurt and taste it all over and over again. I have yet to settle down. But I appreciate the knowledge of it.

Thanks for passing by, passengers.