Neutral

Is it? or is it not?

It is coming to the end of March now. I haven't write anything ever since that incident had over.

Nothing much has happened ever since too. I moved to new place. It is pretty warm for me to sleep at first, though I've came to slowly adapt to the temperature now.

Likewise I'm really emotionally drained now. Like my friend said, I'm always sedih hati nowadays. Listening to those sentimental songs. Stare at a spot for no reason. Like to be with crowd or avoid to be with crowd.

Feeling extremely lonely but don't seem to socialise with people or talk more. The kind of restless feeling has eaten me inside out and I'm starting to laugh at myself sometimes.

It's great you know. This is a phase that sooner or later I'd have to get through. Be with myself. I eat a lot. Workout routinely too. Maintaining how I am like now. Of course they said you'll look better if you are leaner. While I was leaner, some said you'll be happier if you don't eat so little.

It proved what? It proved that people's words mean nothing but just a piece of empty advice. They always have something to say. Always. So be happy and try to be happy live with yourself. Though I'm still trying hard for that.

Days are good. Life's been normal. Nothing big nor small around. Alone as I am. I should be happy for such life. Embarrassingly I don't find myself enjoy it. I hated it. I want something else, but I am not sure of what's that something.

Doing laundry outside now and give myself a moment to sit here while waiting for it to be done. Enjoy the moment of silence. I am going home.

I am going home to I don't know. I'll definitely pay a visit to my grandma's house. I love to sit there in the afternoon while reading books or take a afternoon nap. I'll feel contented when I have it there.

We have lost contact afterall. That three months felt like a dream. But I know it's real. The heartbroken was real. The helpless was real. I could still smell myself drowning and drowning and hmm... I floated and landed.

I should pay a visit to vivacity. Though I am going alone and I don't really know specifically why should I go. I just feel like going there. hmm... We'll see.

I thank God for my life now. Couldn't be more thankful. This is peace. Though I am still adjusting myself into it, it isn't easy to just come into peace while it symbolises dry, dull, repetitive and boring life routine.

It's good to be like this for awhile until I am fully recovered. Thanks God for this.